I have someone very close to me going through one of the harder trials of her life at this very moment. She and her husband needed a little help in getting pregnant and after an expensive, painful, and humbling in vitro experience, they found out that they were happily expecting twins. About 8 weeks ago they found out that one of the twins had a fluke, non-genetic, and very unusual abnormality that was imminently fatal. That sweet angel baby could not live outside of his mother’s womb, and that twin passed away yesterday in utero. The second twin (a boy) is thriving and only needs more time to develop, which at this moment we are all anxiously praying for. How long this sweet baby boy has to continue to develop in the safety of his mother’s womb is in question as the doctors and nurses monitor the pre-term labor that is threatening to deliver both of the twins.
As my friend and I were mourning together and talking about this life and the trials that cut us to our very core, I couldn’t help but think of an idea I heard of recently: we are all here on this earth to develop particular virtuous qualities and high moral character. Ironically, it is the hard things we encounter that chisel off our rough edges. As we talked about God’s plan for my friend and her babies, including the baby that she lost, my friend suggested that “plan A” was really painful and she would like to opt for “plan B.” She said that she would gladly choose focusing on more spirituality, meditation, or anything but what she was going through right now with her babies. Yes, me too!! The loss of this baby is my loss, too, and is someone that was planned to be a big part of my life as well. I mourn the loss of that sweet twin and am fervently praying for the other.
There have been so many times in my life when it feels like the pain is too much to bear and when I want to cry out, “I want plan B instead!” I can’t help but talking about another of my best friends, Jesus Christ. Even He asked for “plan B” when He asked our God for another way: “Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but Thine, be done.” Luke 22:42.
I love the movie Alice in Wonderland and the Mad Hatter’s tea party.
Just as soon as the guests are comfortable, the Mad Hatter yells, “New cup, new cup! Move down, move doooown!” Just when I get comfortable managing my life’s trials, it changes and a new, harder set of challenges knock down my door. I am convinced that our life’s course is following plan A for a reason; I am just not yet sure of the reason. But, when I look back upon my life already lived, I am grateful. I am not self-actualized enough to say I am grateful for that particular “plan A” set of challenges, but I am grateful for the edges it smoothed in my being, the lessons I have learned, and the compassion it has cultivated that I now have to give to others. We are also not alone. Just like the Mad Hatter’s tea party, there are other guests to celebrate at this crazy party called life, and they are there to share in my pain, joy, and laughter.
I believe in “plan A,” and truthfully I think that “plan B” is something we use to deceive ourselves with in thinking that there must be an easier route with the same personal end-resulting character. But, I don’t think there is, and I want to be my best self. So, I am resolved: I am pretty far into “plan A,” and I am committed to seeing “plan A” through to the end, come what may!
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