Daring to Stand Alone

 

 I recently read a blog post that a friend had posted the link to on Facebook. In the post a mother shared her view on something you could tell was near and dear to her heart. Something that she was passionate about as she felt that it affected those she loved most. Her children. As I read through the post she made some points that had me nodding in agreement and then there were things that had me cringing. Thinking “Wow- she actually said that out loud. Yikes.” When I finished I scrolled down to the comments curious as to what others reactions would be and in that moment my heart broke for this mom. Her right to be a mother and I dare even say her right to be treated as a human was smashed to pieces by the harsh words of others. I didn’t agree with some of the things she said but I cried tears for this woman I had never met.

 

 

I get it.

 

 

I do.

 

 

You can’t please everyone.

 

 

The thing I don’t get is this…why is it that if you don’t agree with someone’s thoughts or point of view, it gives you permission and free reign to unleash a fire storm of unkindness? Can we not, still voice our opinions without name calling, belittling, and hate? Have we forgotten how to talk to each other and share our opinions from a place of love? I think great learning and awareness can come when both parties converse in a reasonable, kind, and respectful way.

 

I can already tell you what some of the response to this will be- “It’s all in the name of constructive criticism.” or what about “Well, if she puts herself out there, then she’s asking for it.” or maybe this one “It’s my right of free speech” My response to all of these arguments- Keep telling yourself that. I don’t see one ounce of constructive criticism in your argument. What is that saying “Don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.” Name calling and belittling of others is not in any way constructive. Intimidating and cruelty to others that you view as weaker is not being brave or standing up for what you believe in. It has a name and it is called BULLYING.  Yup, I said it…I just see a BIG bully, who uses words to intimidate and belittle others brave enough to make a stand and show up to the fight.

 

Don’t Believe me?

 

bul·ly ¹

 

Although I might not have agreed with this lady and all of her ideas I had mad props to her for sharing something that she felt needed to change.  That even in the heat of the moment she dared to stand alone and strong in her beliefs. I hope to hell she is still backin’ herself up even after the crap hit the fan.

 

Seriously, what in the crap has happened to us?

 

It’s like, with all the technology at our fingertips we have forgotten what it feels like to feel anything. Cyber bullying is a HUGE problem with our youth and it’s something that people all over are trying to combat and yet we as adults do the same thing to each other. Do we think our children are going to act any better than what we show them? Uh, probably not. The problem as I see it is, we can sit behind the computer and spew hate and unkindness and not think twice about it because we don’t have to look that person in the eye and see their heart break, the sadness in their eyes or the tears that run down their cheeks. We have created a world that no longer demands real human interaction. We don’t have to look someone in the eye to talk to them. We can text them. We can shoot them an email. We can message them on Facebook. We can communicate without any emotion having to be involved. We can carry on a full conversation without ever having to look a person in the eye. And for some reason people think it’s okay to sit behind their computer or cell phone and write things that they would NEVER say to someone’s face.  Do you know why they would never say them? Because deep down they know they would never be brave enough or strong enough to say the things they did and still be able to look that person in the the eye. It wouldn’t feel so awesome to say those things and then have to look and see the hurt they caused someone first hand. As the great Glennon says ‘If you are not nice on the internet then you are not a nice person” Amen to that.

 

I have been where this mom had been. I have been on the receiving end of the cyber bullies and their awesomness. I cried for days about the things they said about me. The things they said still haunt me. I spent a lot of time thinking about that situation and what I would have done differently and every. single. time I come up blank. I wouldn’t change a thing I said. What I said came from my heart. It was me sharing a piece of myself with the world and letting myself be seen. It wasn’t written from someone else’s point of view but from mine. It told a story of who I was with my whole heart in it.

 

“It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how one stumbles, or where the doer of deed could have done better. Credit belongs to the one actually in the arena. Face marred by dust and sweat and blood. Who strives valiantly. Who errs and comes up short again and again. Who knows great enthusiasms and devotions.  Who at best know triumph  and high achievement. Who at worst fails DARING GREATLY”

-Theadore Roosevelt

 

Since that time I have come to realize that sometimes in life you have to “dare to stand alone’ because that is what truly matters. Staying true to yourself when the world would tell you differently is BRAVE and valiant and in my eyes, whether I agree with it or not, it demands respect. It demands respect because your in the ring fighting for the things that matter to you. You are the one daring greatly no matter the cost.

 

I have learned that there will be times when the world will say one thing and I will say and feel another. In these moments I have 2 choices. I can become who the world wants me to be. I can follow what others say and be apart of the crowd. Or…I can stay true to myself and what my heart tells me is right. I can listen to the still small voice that comes from deep within that says stay true to God. Choose to see the world and the people in it how God does. Fill the world with kindness and love. Because light will always drive away darkness and LOVE and kindness in every situation WILL ALWAYS WIN!

 

 

Dare to stand alone.

 

Dare to have a purpose firm.

 

Dare to make it known.

 

And do so courageously!

 

 

xoxo

Kallie

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