If you have been a reader of Smitten for awhile now, you might have heard me mention “guilt words” or words that make us feel not enough.
SHOULD is the worst one of all.
The actual definition of should is: used to indicate a duty, obligation or correctness. In other words it implies an expectation and more times than not, when we use it, it has an expectation towards ourselves attached to it. Think about this little scenario ( I am sure it is one we have all found ourselves in at some point) You are talking to a dear friend and she is telling you about this amazing (fill in the blank) she has been doing and you say ” That sounds so awesome! I SHOULD do that!”
How often do we say “I should or shouldn’t….(fill in the blank)?
I am sure it is more times than we can count. It comes naturally to say it and I bet you are asking yourself how do we not say the should word? Here is my 2 cents about this word and how we can replace it!
So… we have said the “should” word out loud now what? We start really thinking about what the “should” of our conversation entails. The more we think about it, the more we realize that the said expectation is not something that we can physically,mentally or emotionally do. How does this make us feel?
Is there some guilt in there?
Maybe a little I’m not enough?
Or maybe a little something called a failure?
Should implies that there is something you NEED to be doing and aren’t. Should says you need to be doing more, your still not enough and we walk away feeling those things. Here is the the most important message of this whole post: KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES. Know your limits and make peace with them. We only become overwhelmed and small when we stretch ourselves too thin with the unnecessary.
Remember that saying- Let go of the unnecessary so the necessary can speak. Now is the the time to apply this.
In other words- say buh-bye to those expectations of yourself that cannot be accomplished, make you feel small or don’t serve you with positivity. When you catch yourself using the should word take a step back and ask yourself WHY you want to do it. Make sure your reasons are genuine and not to earn your worth.
Example #1
My thought- I SHOULD exercise.
Step Back & ask yourself WHY- Why do I want to exercise?
Establish your why & replace- I want to exercise because it makes my body feel healthy and strong. I like how it makes me feel afterwards.
When you have established a “why” you are more likely to do it for the right reason and stick with it. Your why will keep the end goal in sight and give you clarity on the things that you ultimately want in your life. Remember it is healthy to have boundaries for yourself and the things that you take on in your life.
What do you tell yourself you “SHOULD” be doing? What are you going to replace that thought with?
xoxo
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