Meet THIS Mormon

My name is Kallie and I am a Mormon.

I don’t talk a lot about my religion on the blog, and it’s not because I am embarrassed or ashamed, it is because I don’t feel like I need to tell you what I believe- I NEED you to see in me what I believe. Does that make sense? People can tell you all kinds of things, they can say all kinds of words, but how they live their life will tell you way more about a person than the words they say or the religion they claim. I believe this with all my heart and I hope you see in me what I believe it means to be a Mormon.

Let me make this very clear- I am NO scholar on being a Mormon. I don’t know the doctrine like I should. I can’t answer all your questions. I make mistakes. In fact I’ve made HUGE mistakes. I don’t follow all the rules try as I might. I have went long periods of time not going to church and being angry with God. I am not perfect, nor do I claim to be. I don’t know a lot but I do know how I feel.

I think with anything you can argue facts or so called facts ALL DAY LONG, but I don’t think you can ever argue with a persons feelings. People’s feelings are real and to me that makes them valid, and I try to always treat them as such- even if I don’t agree or have a different point of view. I hope that I always treat others who believe differently than me with respect, kindness and more importantly LOVE, and I would hope they would give respect and kindness in return. I have had many discussions with people who believe differently than me and I always come out having learned something or appreciating a different perspective. We can learn so much from each other when we put down our swords and listen- really listen.

Here is my story. I hope you will take the time to listen.

I was raised a Mormon. I grew up attending church with my family on Sundays, well most Sundays. Sometimes my parents would skip church and take us for a Sunday drive instead. I always liked those days best because 3 hours of church was long. Almost every Sunday we would go to my Grandparents house and hang out. All my cousins would come and my Grandpa would pop popcorn and make homemade grape juice for everyone. We would then watch the Sunday night movie on ABC. When I was young I always loved Sundays because I got to spend them with the people I loved.

When I got to High School I didn’t really have a testimony of the Mormon Church. I felt judged a lot and misunderstood. I didn’t really feel like I belonged there and it was confusing. I started hating Sunday’s. This was a time in my life where I was very angry with God. I felt broken and I wanted to know why he had sent me here all broken and messy. I wanted to know why if this was supposed to be a life of joy, there was so much heartbreak and sadness. I wanted answers and I felt like I deserved them. I was expecting God to shout at me the things my heart wanted to know BUT He never did. I know now that God doesn’t shout. Those who want to hear him know this- He whisperers.

He whispers because he needs to know you are being still and listening. He needs to know you are humble enough to tune out all the noise and really listen for his voice.

It took me a lot of years and a really long journey to listen for God and to find my way back. It took me losing myself completely to find Him and the gospel again. I am so thankful for my experiences and where they have led me. They have taught me compassion, forgiveness, suffering and joy. These lesson have taught me what it means to LOVE ALL OF PEOPLE. Not just the good parts or the parts I agree with but ALL of them- because God LOVES all of me. Just like he LOVES all of YOU and if he can love all of us sinners I can too.

I don’t know much but here is what I do know:

There are times where I feel like I am on a merry go round, just going round and round trying to find my “there” only to feel little and always falling short. It is exhausting and disorienting. Times I am not sure what I am doing or why I am doing it. The funny thing is the answer is always right in front of me. It will always be right in front of me but I get so distracted by what I think my answer is I can’t see clearly. I get drawn to other things that I think will make me happy, instead of following my heart and the things I love most. These are the times where I have forgotten where the divine in me comes from and I feel lost, without purpose.

I over think things and in my over thinking I miss the still quiet voice that is whispering…Kallie be still and listen. Listen to your heart. Listen to your passions. Your passions will lead you into your purpose. Listen to ME. I am the answer. In my recent silence I have found the time to listen. The more I listen the louder His whispering get’s and as it get’s louder my purpose becomes bright and full of fire. God speaks to us in the quiet. To our soul. We just have to drown out the chaos around us and listen.

A week ago I talked to a group of teenage girls about body image and changing our perceptions of ourselves. As I talked a little piece of my broken self healed. There was a “there” there. I felt it. And I felt God. He was there cheering me on letting me know I was starting to see the bigger picture. HIS bigger picture. On my way home, as I was thinking about the night, I listened and God whispered your purpose is to serve.

Just yesterday I was folding clothes thinking about where all the time had gone with my kiddos. They are getting so big and so fast. My 2 year old came in crying because his brother had hit him. I hugged him, kissed his owie and then began to list all the reasons I love him as my fingers crawled up to tickle him. He smiled and laughed. And there in that tender moment God whispered your purpose is to love with all your heart, without conditions.

I got an email yesterday from the people I am renting a house from for the BRAVE Retreat saying they were waiving the cleaning fee because it was for a good cause. I cried. It was an answer to my prayers. In that moment of joy God whispered your purpose is to be generous and giving.

There is a young girl who I met when I talked to one of the teenage girl groups, who I have been talking to a lot through email. She reminds me of me when I was her age. Trying so hard to fit in and find her place in this big world. She just needs someone to listen to her and take the time to understand her and why she does the things she does. She also needs someone to let her know that what she is feeling is real. She tells me thank you for listening to her and I smile to myself. To me, listening to someone is such a small thing I can do. And while I am listening to her God whispers your purpose is to listen and have compassion.

As I laid in bed last night thinking about my day. Pondering a situation in my life, wondering what I did wrong and how I could of done things to create a different outcome. I was nit picking myself and there in the quiet I heard it…God whispering your purpose here is to learn and forgive. Yourself included.

And in that moment I gave thanks for His reminder and he whispered again…Your purpose is to have gratitude.

I have been feeling small, ordinary and insignificant the last little while. Thinking that my voice isn’t doing any good and wondering what is the point. But also feeling torn because I felt like they were things God wanted me to do. I became angry with God and then I heard it, his soft whisper saying “Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.” Alma Chapter 37 verse 6. And I realize that my purpose is to have faith in HIM and that through him I will never be small.

God is there.

He is real.

He is your answer.

Through him you find your purpose and through your purpose you find your “there” and when you find your “there” you find your happiness that has been waiting for you all along.

he is your answer in all things. he is.

Are you listening?

This weekend a new movie “Meet the Mormons” hits theaters and in an effort to help people learn about our religion and what we do believe I have collaborated with 65+ other bloggers to share a little bit of who we are and what it means to us to be a Mormon.

We belong to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints otherwise known as “The Mormons”. We are proud of this part of who we are! We are excited to team up with over 65+ of us strong… to extend an invitation to see a film. A film entitled “Meet The Mormons”. This film is not meant to be an “in your face” – you must join our church film. It is simply designed and produced to uplift and inspire you through six stories of those of our faith who have followed promptings to follow Christ more fully in their lives. We hope you take the opportunity to enjoy this film. We hope your hearts are made light as you feel the goodness that comes from following our Christ and Savior. All proceeds from the film will be donated to The American Red Cross. So not only will you be uplifted and inspired, your money will be going to an amazing charity!!

We also would like to take a moment and share our personal testimonies, stories of our own personal conversions, and our own stories of how following our Savior, Jesus Christ has changed our lives. The light of the gospel of Jesus Christ offers a joy and hope that only following him can provide. We hope as you click through and read our stories and testimonies of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, you will feel uplifted and encouraged. We are by you! We love connecting with our readers, that is why many of us do what we do! Please be kind and considerate in your comments. It takes great bravery for us to open our hearts and our mouths to share with you such a tender and personal part of who we are. We share because we feel strongly the need to share the peace and the hope that is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Adrienne | Free Time Frolics , Camille | Chicken Scratch n’ Sniff , Natalie & Rebekah | House of Sprinkles , Kathleen| Fearlessly Creative Moms

Katie | Clarks Condensed, Larissa | Just Another Day In Paradise , Camille | My Mommy Style, Candice | She’s Crafty

Andie | Maybe I Will , Shatzi | Love and Laundry , Robyn | Create it Go , Rachel | R & R Workshop

Amber | Dessert Now Dinner Later, Natalie | The Creative Mom, Bobbie | A Vision To Remember , Becky | Babes In Hairland

Lisa | Pebbles & Pigtails , Mandy | Sugar Bee Crafts , Krista | Reclaim, Renew, Remodel , Wendy | Musings, Miracles, and Mayhem

Alexis | We Like to Learn As We Go, Amy | The English Geek , Mariel | Carriann | Oh Sweet Basil

Comments

comments

Heather says:

October 10, 2014 at 8:26 pm

I always love reading your posts!

I originally stumbled onto your site after losing a dear, dear friend to an ED and you were just the voice I needed. You are so positive and open about how things aren’t perfect in your life. I can relate. But you take a spin on them and work on it! It’s a welcome reminder in my day to remind myself to keep working on it too!

I am embarrassed to say that I don’t know much about the LDS church, but really have enjoyed this “Meet the Mormon” series. I have found a lot of genuine and passionate people!

So, however you feel about it, you have an audience. And they hear you =)
Tiffany Rudd says:

October 11, 2014 at 6:43 am

This is absolutely beautiful! So proud to be your friend!!

he is your answer in all things. he is.

Are you listening?

Comments

Comments

Trackbacks

Speak Your Mind Cancel reply

Subscribe

Archives

Posts Readers are Smitten By…

Planning a Trip on a Budget?

Graphic Design Services