Our Life Stories

This week has been a doozie.

 

I have cried. A lot.  I have done a lot of thinking. I have felt angry and I have felt unbelievably sad. I have felt misunderstood and yet loved all at the same time.

 

I had no idea that my post would cause so much expression from others. There was some good and then there was the really bad. The comments where who I was as a person was attacked and the person I am belittled. My heart was heavy when I would read these comments. I just kept thinking to myself if they knew my story would they be talking differently to me? If they knew how hard I have fought to be able to say the things I said in that post, would that make a difference? If they knew the journey I have been on to find my voice would they have celebrated with me? Or, laugh that I would ever celebrate finding my voice to say the things I said? If they knew it had taken me 20 years of my life and a hard fight to say I loved being a woman, that I loved my body, that I loved who I have become and the roles I have choosen, would they have talked a little kinder with a little more understanding for how much that post meant to me?

 

There was a story behind that post. A sad story. A happy story. An ugly story and yet a really beautiful one about a girl overcoming her fears, her insecurities and being BRAVE in the face of her Eating Disorder. It was a story of a girl’s journey to finding herself again. A story of a girl who had lost herself, her voice and all the things that made her…her. It was MY story. It was not meant to be anyone else’s story or a representation of what womanhood in general looked like. Just a glimpse into my heart. A moment in time that I wanted to freeze because it felt so good to let go. It was a reflection of myself and the journey I have been on. It was me putting a little piece of myself out into the universe to soar for the very first time. It was the first time I felt brave enough to let my small voice be heard. So, I am sure you can imagine the hurt I felt when I was called stupid, an idiot, unintelligent, shallow etc. It was like my eating disorder was back. Telling me how unworthy of my voice, I was. That I was unworthy to love myself and voice that love. I was devastated. I felt all that I have fought for 2 years to find slipping through my fingers. My story’s happy ending was just out of my reach once again.

 

You see, I believe that everyone has a story. Their story. This story is the tale of their own life, the experiences they have had and the person they have become because of those experiences. There is no story a like. No two journey’s the same. Each story beautiful and unique in it’s own way. I believe that these stories are a reflection of everything that has happened to us. Our life stories are a portal into the person we are today. Who we are all wrapped up and entwined in the choices we make as our life story unfolds to us. As with any story there is the good, the bad and the ugly. If we look closely at our own life or at others there are signs of the things that have happened to us. There are signs of things that have destroyed us. There are signs of things we have overcome. Things that have strengthened us. There are signs of failures and the scars they have left behind. There are signs of the things that made us happy. There are signs of the way we have been treated or not treated. There are signs of the wear and tear we have been through on our journey. The highs and lows of life etched upon our hearts.

 

As I thought of my own story, I also thought about those who left hurtful comments and wondered “what is their story?” If I could read their story what would it tell me about who they are and the road they have traveled. Would it help me understand their passions, their sorrows, where they find their joy and why they make the choices they make? If I could read their story would it help me understand why my words had upset them so much? Would it change the way I treat them? Would it make me want to talk a little kinder, with more compassion and love? Would the signs of their life make me want to choose my words carefully and use them for good instead of harm? Would what I saw on the outside also reflect the person I would now see on the inside? I’d like to think if we could read others stories it would change how we treat each other. It would give us the insight  into why they are the way they are and with that would come understanding. Words are power. They can be used to build and they can be used to destroy. You hold that power when you talk to others. Your voice and how you choose to use it, have power to change the world or destroy it.

 

Sadly, our life stories are not as easily read as they would be if they were written in a book. The person we are, the struggles we are enduring, how far we have come, our battle wounds, our triumphs are not on paper in black and white for others to read. Although there are signs in our behaviors of the battles we have fought and lost, and those we have shouted victory. But if others don’t take the time to look for them they will remain unseen. Hidden in the pages of our lives is a beautiful story untold and a beautiful person misunderstood and it will remain that way until others love us enough to look. To really look at who we are.

 

We always have a choice. In every situation we have a choice in how we react. We can do good or we can do harm. We can’t control others and the way they talk to us but we can always control ourselves and how we react. We can always chose LOVE over hate. Understanding over Judgment. Kindness over belittling. I personally chose Love because I believe that love is the only answer. I choose to take the time to look for the things that are unseen. The story that is waiting to be told if we will just look and the beautiful person hidden in the mess called life.

 

In this world Hate never yet dispelled hate. Only LOVE dispels hate. – Buddha

 

So, next time you are quick to anger, judge, or make fun, STOP and take the time to really look at that person. Look for the signs that are unseen. The story untold. The signs they are showing you if you really take the time to look. You will see them and you will be able to decide how to treat them accordingly.

 

Everyone has a story. Their own beautiful story waiting to be told. Each story deserves to be read and handled with love and kindness for the person that emerges from the pages. Look for the beauty in others and celebrate their life even though their triumphs look different from your own.

 

 

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