Not ever knowing, but still inspiring.

How do you prepare yourself for a day like today? Tomorrow June 6th, will be my son’s first Birthday, only he will be celebrating in Heaven. This day last year was the last day of the so-called “normal” life that I would ever live. My last 24 hours of invincibility. Everything seemed so right in my little world. I would give anything, my own life if I had to, to go back to those last 24 hours before I lost him. To feel his last hiccups, kicks, and punches… I think I’d do just about anything. I didn’t only lose my baby. I lost my 1 year old, my 16 year old, and my 25 year old. I will never in this life have the blessing of experiencing any of those memories that would fill those years. For a good portion of this year, I have felt almost numb if that makes any sense. Just going through the motions. Sometimes I’ve felt as if I were in survival mode. Looking back, I feel like I was doing a terrible job, but yet people would thank me for showing them it was possible to pick up the pieces. In the middle of heartbreak and without ever realizing it, we inspire others. I would have no idea that while I was trying to function in my “new normal”, writing about my hurt and talking with others about my own problems that I would somehow help them with their problems too, even if the trials we faced were nothing alike. See, every person has something HUGE that they deal with. I am grateful for places like smitten where we can take off our happy masks, and get real and honest with ourselves- put our problems out in the open. You don’t have to have a blog that you share with others, you could start in the relationships around you. Share your struggles, you may never know who may be burying their hurt, waiting for someone to talk about theirs so they feel that they can too. <3

 

 

 

Kylee Low- Bereaved Mother and Blogger

Hello all, I am Kylee Low. A lover of Baseball, shopping, and all things crafty. A believer in love, laughter as the best medicine, and God. What defines me above all is that I am a bereaved Mother. In June 2012, I lost my son, Clutch, at birth. Losing him shattered my “close to perfect” world into a million pieces. My faith has since been tested, my love for him has deepened, and I know without a doubt that I will see him again. He is forever a part of me, and with every beat of my broken heart I miss him and love him more. Ever since I was a little girl, being a mother was my ultimate dream. I am a mother, just not in a way I would have ever expected to be. My husband and I struggled with infertility before conceiving Clutch, and now we are on the journey to adopt a little one into our arms. I hope you join with me as I post about loss, infertility, adoption, and finding joy in the little things.

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