When you’re trying to conceive, it sometimes seems like everyone around you is already expecting. You’re surrounded by moms pushing strollers and happy couples cooing over their newborns. It can be easy to feel frustrated. We understand. But the key to managing that envy isn’t suppressing it — it’s learning how to handle it in a healthy and positive way:
Be Honest About Your Feelings
This doesn’t mean you should lose your temper with your expectant and excited friends. But it does mean that if you’re feeling stressed out or frustrated, you shouldn’t deny yourself those emotions. Don’t try to convince yourself that it’s all in your head, or that you don’t have the right to feel that way. While you definitely shouldn’t let your stress consume you, the first step to dealing with it is admitting it.
Learn Everything You Can
Part of what makes trying to conceive so stressful is not knowing what to expect and feeling like you don’t have any control. The truth is, though, that you do have control over some things and the knowledge of those things can give you an advantage. For example, the average menstrual cycle lasts 28 days, according to WomensHealth.gov, but it’s normal for a cycle to vary from 21 to 35 days. If you chart your fertility pattern, you can improve your timing and increase your chances of conception. Try one or all of the three methods, which include testing your basal body temperature with a digital basal thermometer, monitoring your cervical mucus or keeping track with an ovulation calendar. Then you’ll know you’re doing all you can and the fear of negligence won’t haunt you.
Keep Yourself Busy
But not with meaningless tasks — this isn’t the time to organize the coupon drawer while you let your mind wander and obsess. Do things you love, that make you happy and genuinely distract you. Work on your favorite hobby, be it scrapbooking, playing the guitar or photography. Try a new recipe. Get out for a girls’ night to the movies — or go the classic slumber party route with a girls’ night in. Whatever you do, let yourself have fun and be fully present.
Take Care of Yourself
- Nutrition: Now is the time to avoid alcohol, cut back on caffeine and switch to a healthier, more balanced diet. Not only will it prepare you for pregnancy, but providing your body with all of the vitamins and nutrients it needs that will help you feel better too. Start slowly with the small stuff, such as swapping sweets for fruits, and then try substituting your usual 12-ounce cup of coffee with juice — or at least a smaller cup.
- Exercise: When you exercise, your body releases chemicals called endorphins into your body. These endorphins, often described as “euphoric” feelings, interact with the receptors in your brain that reduce your perception of pain, according to Web MD. It not only improves your health, but it can help you maintain a more positive outlook on life, as well as reduce stress, boost self-esteem and improve sleep.
Learn to Let Go of Pregnancy Jealousy
Even if you try everything on this list, you might still get pangs of jealousy — and that’s normal. The key is to be able to feel that initial bit of jealousy and then let it go. Try talking to someone. Pick someone you can confide in, but who isn’t too close to the situation. For instance, if your significant other is also stressing out, talking to him might just make you both more anxious. Instead, try someone who has been in your shoes, but not so recently that they will gloss over your worries. Or write in a journal. Even if it’s not your usual thing, you may find that it helps you let go of some of your feelings and focus on the positive.
Guest Post from: Emily Smith
Emily is a writer, yoga teacher and fitness instructor from New Mexico.
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