Building Sandcastles

My darling 4 year old daughter just celebrated her 4^th birthday. She is turning into a wonderful, sweet, caring and stubborn little girl. She decided this year she wanted to have a friend party, so we addressed all 20 invitations and delivered them to all the little boys and girls her age in the neighborhood. When we were walking around I couldn’t help but notice how much my little baby had grown and how confident she was passing around these invites, knocking on all the doors. She had no problem doing it all by herself, and seemed to actually enjoy our little outing.

 

When I think about being brave, I think about my 4-year-old. She has a zeal and excitement for life that I often envy. She hasn’t yet been scarred repeatedly by the cutting words of others and kicked down by the trials of life. I wish with all my heart that I could keep her that way. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we could all have the heart of a 4-year-old? Maybe a little messy, and unorganized, but definitely more enjoyable.

 

For me, it wasn’t until my teenage years that my confidence really started to erode. Like a sandcastle that continually looses its sand to the waves, I kept loosing pieces of who I thought I was with every mean word and emotional hurt. I wish I could tell my teenage self to hold on, and that it would all work out. But back then I couldn’t seem to maintain my self-confidence.

 

Even now, sometimes I feel weighted down by the same things that used to bother me as a teen. I’m better at putting those words and experiences away now, but sometimes I still feel like I carry them with me and that they effect who I am and the way I see myself.

 

So this is my challenge for you as well as for myself, let’s let it go.

 

If you are still holding onto words that have bruised your ego and stifled your confidence, let it go.

 

If you are still holding onto moments of bravery that ended up in disappointment, let them go.

 

Those past experiences are keeping us from being brave NOW. And we owe it to ourselves and to those around us to be our 100% genuine self. I find myself still holding back sometimes because of the fear that if you really get to know who I truly am that you wont like it, and at least if I keep you at an arms distance and you don’t like me its easier to take because you don’t really know me. How many of us live this way? Only partially invested in our relationships to keep ourselves and our egos as safe as possible? Sometimes we have to do this if we are with someone we have been shown cannot be trusted with our feelings, but most of the time all it does is hold us back. I know it holds me back from having more meaningful friendships and relationships. Luckily I have some friends who love me anyway, but I know I could deepen these friendships if I would open up more of myself.

 

Next time you get the urge to hold back, push yourself to be brave. When you are afraid to take a chance on something new, be brave. If I can host eighteen 2-5 year olds at my home for an hour and a half, I’m pretty sure I can be brave enough to handle almost anything the world throws in my way, right?

 

 

-Whitney Tibbs-

Motherhood has always been a dream of mine, and now that I have arrived, I endeavor to find a little joy in every day. My 2 year-old daughter, Monroe, is my little gal pal, full of sweetness and spunk. I’m lucky to have a wonderful partner in my husband, Jeff.  He helps keep me grounded and happy, while working the crazy schedule of a CPA.  I love to learn and am always seeking knowledge.  I graduated in Health and Promotion from the University of Utah, and have a great passion for health and wellness. I also am a bit obsessed with home design and decor, which is mostly fueled by blogging and Pinterest.  For me happiness is about balance, and I’m always striving to seek just the right formula.

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