The other day I was speaking to a room full of women. They varied in age from teenage girls to elderly women. Before I began my talk I asked each of them to close their eyes as I asked them 2 questions. They were instructed to raise their hand if the answer to the question was yes.
The first question was asked: “If you love your body and don’t want to change anything about it, please raise your hand.” Not one hand went up.
I then asked the 2nd question “If you have a positive perception of yourself please raise your hand” Once again not one hand went up.
NOT ONE HAND WENT UP.
I know there were women in this room who looked around and saw someone that they felt had it all together. I know that each of us look around and make these assumptions with the people in our own lives. We look at others and think they have it all… success, confidence, talents, strengths, good looks, etc, but what do we see when we look at ourselves? Do we see ourselves the way others see us? Is our self-perception truthful and honest?
I have not always had a healthy self-perception. For a big part of my life I never felt enough. I struggled for 18 years with an eating disorder that controlled my thoughts and the way I saw myself. I started treatment at the age of 29, it has now been 3 years since I began this journey. It’s been a long road, one I feel so grateful I took. I learned so much along the way and I would like to share with you 3 simple ways to create a healthy self image.
Self Love Journal: Each day take the time to write down something you like about yourself. Write down your talents, your strengths, or something you accomplished. Write down your successes and triumphs. You will come to see that in those pages in black and white is WHO YOU ARE. It also serves as a great reminder on a bad day. When you are feeling small or not enough, skim through those pages and you will quickly be reminded of how amazing you are. For more journaling ideas and reasons why writing in a journal is so healing check out this post: https://smittenby.net/2014/01/30/why-journaling-promotes-healing/
Get Ready on the Inside: We spend so much time physically getting ready each day, we exercise, shower, put on our makeup, do our hair, etc. While self care is awesome and rewarding, how often do we take the time to get ready on the inside? By that I mean how often do we take the time to connect to our soul, to who we are? Do you think if we spent the same amount of time getting ready on the inside as we spent physically getting ready it would make a difference in how we see ourselves? I am living proof it does. Make it a priority to take the time each day to focus on who you are. Ideas for getting ready on the inside: meditate, practice yoga, write in your journal, acts of kindness for others, service, prayer or scripture study if you are religious.
Stop Comparing: Nothing will rob you of your joy faster than measuring your worth against someone else’s. With social media all around us, it has become really easy to only see the best parts of people all the time. We see the perfect 5 seconds and then compare our ordinary selves to that. In truth, each of us have a perfect 5 seconds in someone else’s eyes. What we see in others, we also have within ourselves. Here is a rhyme that helps keep me in check when it comes to comparing- Compare and Despair or Admire and Aspire. I always have a choice. I can take the time to compare myself and walk away feeling despair, small, and not enough, or I can take the same amount of time to look at that person, admire their awesomeness, feel inspired by it, and make the choice to aspire to become my best self. Each of us have a piece to the puzzle called life, your piece is essential to helping others contribute theirs. Your strengths are your purpose…focus on them and run with it.
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